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"Some, I know, have questioned the global appeal of liberty - though this time in history, four decades defined by the swiftest advance of freedom ever seen, is an odd time for doubt. Americans, of all people, should never be surprised by the power of our ideals. Eventually, the call of freedom comes to every mind and every soul. We do not accept the existence of permanent tyranny because we do not accept the possibility of permanent slavery. Liberty will come to those who love it."--GWB

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Sunday, October 23, 2005

me

Captain Freedom sans cape, in his birthday suit.
As you can see, he is a very prosperous American--well-fed, even if a tad unshaven. What's that? Captain Freedom is a bearded pig? Don't be so superficial! Freedom-loving is an intrinsic quality. Besides, he is a totally different pig when gussied up in his red-white-and-blue-spangled bodyglove. God bless you, Captain Freedom. If only we had more people like you.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mon capitaine, I can't believe this is really a picture of you. C'mon now, fess up, isn't this really a slightly doctored picture of Karl Rove? I can see that beard's been photo-shopped!

1:38 PM  
Blogger Captain Freedom said...

Dear anon,
I understand your incredulity. Sometimes I wake up and say, "This can't be true! Captn. Freedom is a bearded Pig." But I forget about all that once I slip into my star-spangled body glove and start my day, ridding the world of freedomhaters.

Anon, I respect thy burning desire for freedom, but I take umbrage, a wee bit, at your insult casually hurled at we bearded pigs. Karl Rove could never be a bearded pig. He has proven himself to be a freedomloving imposter. Captain freedom has pulled off his bearded pig, freedomloving mask for all the world to see. He is no friend of freedomlovers. He corrupts our fine, freedomloving president and weakens the security of freedomlovers by revealing the identity of freedomagents. HIs Scooby Doo episode is nigh, anon. I promise thee.
Besides what do you have against beards, anyway, anon? Lots of great freedomlovers have sported them: Jesus, Socrates, John Brown, Abraham Lincoln, Kenny Rogers.
Anon, you must keep the faith in freedom. I believe in you. Look beyond the beard and you will find one very beautiful freedom-loving pig (unless you're a dude, of course). Make thy faith in freedom unswerving, anon. I know you can. Blessed art thou, anon. Blessed are the freedomlovers!
--Captain Freedom

3:59 PM  
Anonymous Exiled in Ann Arbor said...

Captain Freedom. Good to see you on the web and, might I say, a very good picture of you. We chatted at the Heritage Foundation meeting last year, and I must admit that you're not a very handsome man. Nor mannered. I remember you pointing out a red, white and blue bible in order to suck the Cosmo right out of my glass and then asking for sex "in the name of Freedom" (I wake up at night, still feeling the vestigial scrape of your whiskers on my neck). I digress, though. I love your views on nation building.

Did you catch the LA Times article from Lawrence Wilkerson, Colin Powell's former chief of staff (http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/opinion/la-oe-wilkerson25oct25,1,2824203.story)? The nerve to call the Cheney-Rumsfield braintrust a "cabal." I always suspected him after he blew off our prayer breakfast.

Keep up the good work.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Captain Freedom said...

Dear Exiled,
That couldn't have been you, er me, at the Heritage F. meeting, sucking the cosmo out of your glass and soliciting free love, unless of course you're not a dude and I sensed the faint aroma of truffles drifting down from your glass. Nay, 'tis impossible it was I; as my recent photo attests, my beard is downy with age. It must've been a young,scruffy,slacking bearded-pig. Heritage Foundation events are teeming with them. Beware of the many Freedom imposters, Exiled. There is but one Captain Freedom. You will know me by my fruits: I particularly like prunes. But digression is contagious. My bearded-pig heart swoons with freedom-love at your confession of our kindred views on nation-building.

Exiled, beware of the young, liberal bearded pigs. They haven't been mugged yet. Blessed art thou, exiled. Blessed are the freedomlovers. Stay free.
Captn. Freedom

3:32 PM  

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